The Father is the King over his family and environment, and must be respected and honored by his wife, the Queen and their Children.

We can learn from the stoic rules for a stable family relationship especially between Parents and their Children as they age gloriously.

When I was with my parents, I lived under strict, but loving rules. My father was busy and got me involved in most of his farming and hunting activities. It was a strong and deep disciplined life. Mama was incharge of food, cook, preserve and serve it warm and promptly, with water and drinks that pleased Papa. We had to Wash and iron school uniforms till, I was able to wash and iron clothes. You dared not reject anything put in your plate as your food. Papa won’t tolerate or entertain any such rude conducts as it meant disrespect to Papa. Papa would always come back with goodies for me, in particular as First Son and I had three key conditions to be entitled to his goodies… Pass your exams and stay within the fist 3 best students in class; Follow him to the farm or fishing and obey all instructions ,with calculated discipline, Read my books or do my class lessons.

Today I see children being over pampared, dont make their rooms, dont wash their plates, dont wash their clothes, even at 10 ton12 years old. I hear parents, mostly mothers beg children to eat, won’t allow them touch or do anything in the house, but play video games. They think being kind is good for children, but that not only wrong, its unscriptural. The Bible urges Parents to teach the child what to do, when he or she grows up he or she will not depart fŕom it. The Bible declares that if you spare the rod from, the child you spoil the child. The Bible encourages tough love with the children. There is rebellion in the child but the rain drives it away. Over Pampered children, are not prepared for an uncaring, brutally competitive world. So they become undisciplined adults,and undisciplined adults cant cope with harsh realities of life, especially the male young adults. They unfortunately have three destinations in life:

1.They will end up in hospitals and or rehabilitation centres because they can’t cope with world outside Mom and Dad; 2.Their next likely destination will be the jail house. They will keep friends who are street wiser but may be crooked, exploring all types excitement from violent conducts, illegal exploitations, which will land them in jail. This is because, when trouble comes they won’t know how to react in order to be free. There is a story of 18 years Kerry, in Sarasota Georgia, who moved out of Family house because he was tired of being expected to make his bed, clean his room,eat at the dinning with other members of their family of 4 children and 2 parents. He was not doing well at school because he refused to study and his Father a Deacon im church refused to buy the Video Game he demanded. He subsequently, left on the 26th December after Christmas and joined one of his school drop out friends. They went out to buy some fire crackers from a nearby neighborhood shop. He was asked to keep the shop owner distracted while the other two of his friends helped themselves stealing all kinds of foolish items. When they were done, the shop owner called out on them and the leader handed his pistol to him and commanded him to shoot at the shop owner or go back to his parents.He hesitated and the shop owner who just pulled his own pistol to shoot at him, forcing Kerry to pull his trigger and hit the man on his left arm. He ran to join his friends, but they had disappeared into the night when they heard the shot! He was not familiar with the area and ran towards the house of the City Sherrif’s Team and was arrested! He was lucky the victim only had injury on his left arm, but he is still in jail as I write. What a way to start the new year.

The next destination for undisciplined adults is the grave. They get killed or they kill themselves . Muller was a tall handsome 17 years old second son of a Church Pastor,in Lake City Florida . He was brought up by devoted Christian, Church going family. Because they had him after trying and waiting for about 7 years after the first born, he was pampered a lot by parents more especially his mother, who would get in the way whenever her husband tried to instil some discipline into young Muller. This was the only source of argument and stress between his mother and father as the mother resisted and opposed her husband’s handling of Muller.

On this Sunday he was asked by his father to iron the shirt he wanted to wear to the church. Miller refused demanding to know why on Sunday? His Mom supported him as usual and to punish his father he got the shirt burnt by the left collar, and when his mother noticed it, she told her husband. Muller was so crossed upon learning that his mother told his father, that he stormed out the house with his mother’s car keys, jumped into her car and speed onto the road intersection, where an unsuspecting truck hit him and killed him on the spot! He died because her mother did not support her husband disciplinary measures on him. Expectedly he ended his life and destroyed his mother’s car in the process, inflicting double tragedy on his poor family!

There are certain principles parents should apply to help their children to learn and grow up as disciplined adults;

1.“When you want to teach children to think, you begin by treating them seriously when they are little…” — Bertrand Russell
Russell lays the foundation for raising thinkers—not followers. He taught Respect, truth, and intellectual freedom shape young minds. Treat children with depth and honesty early, and they’ll become adults who question, create, and lead..

Four Principles for raising good children . Raise them with words that will guide them when you parents are gone especially the father: 1.Teach them to study with Purpose.Education, is not about grades only,its about opening their minds, expanding their horizons and for freedom. What they learn can never be taken away from them. 2. Teach them to choose their company wisely. Not everyone who smiles is a friend. Those who pull them towards waste, addiction and use of arms in a fight or quitting are mere anchors Not Allies. Better to walk alone than to sink with the Wrong Crowd. 3.Teach them to value money. Spending without thought is self disrespect, while saving and managing money wisely is self respect. A child who understands money early, learns freedom and not dependence. 4.Teach them to value effort. Work is not punishment. It is formation, discipline built through efforts, shapes character, that lasts life that lasts. 5.Finally ,Teach them not to loose their inner compass, called faith, Value or awareness. A life without meaning empties fast. A child that has principles is never truly lost. These rules or principles dont just raise good children, they shape free, grounded,adults, capable of building a strong future, even when life gets harder.

Four Things children must never do to their Parents. There are lines which must never be crossed especially with people who gave you life. : 1. Never raise your voice or look at your parents with anger. You may feel right, but they are your parents not your equals.They sacrifices for you without counting. Raising your voice at them is not strenght, it is forgeting who stood for you! 2. Never dissappear without let them know. They are not controlling you,they are worried. Parental concerns does not end, when you grow up.A short message costs you nothing,but gives them Peace. 3.Never let them keep doing everything thing for you. Parents are not servants.If they are still carrying your weight, you have not learnt to carry your own. Maturity shows up in responsibility. 4.Never Trust others more than you trust your parents. This is where many Pastors have usurped the role of one of the parents based on one sided story of perverted mother’s greed. However God is not mocked, such Pastors shall have their children abandon them soon. Many will listen to you, but few will love you without conditions. Notic who stays when others leave. One day,your parents voices will become memories, this is why children must honor both parents now. Respect Is Practiced While You Still Can No parent should deny children access and respect to their father or mother..

Bishop Clement Udegbe writes from Florida USA.